(Introducing myself)
My name is Paik Soobin,and my English name is Susan.My birthday is November third.
My dream is to be a writer and a photographer,because I like writing some novels and taking pictures.
My hobby is listening to music.I enjoy listening to my favorite artist Maroon 5.Researching about new music is also precious activity for me.
I also love to travel aboard.Thanks to my parents,I could travel around since I was very young.I went to Malaysia,America U.S,Japan,China and Europe.I think my favorite were an Europe.I like to tour and visit some interesting countries and take pictures of them.
THANK YOU
FIX:
ReplyDeleteline 2: to write some -> writing
line 4: take out "a" before "music"
line 4: artist like -> artist,
line 5: some -> about
line 5: musics -> music (musics is only singular)
line 5: precious time -> a precious activity
line 6: traveling aboard -> travel abroad(spelling)
line 6: Because of -> Thanks to
line 7: take out "U.S"
line 7: favorite was -> favorites were
line 8: country and taking some pictures. -> countries and take pictures of them.
Your writing's nice. Not much to fix except some minor mistakes like "musics".
Going to many countries is a precious experience. You should definitely thank your parents for it. I wish you'd also visit Latin America one day. Nice to meet you! :)
THANK U
ReplyDeletewow you've been to so many other countries!!
ReplyDelete